It's All too Much

So much has happened. Is happening. So much is at stake.

I’ve been taken a much needed break from interacting on social media and with traditional media. I can’t wrap my head around how so much is happening all at once but nothing is right. I keep thinking of what to write about. What information should I give? Which public health and health policy topics should I be informing on? How much does my community want to even hear me speak?

There’s so much noise. It’s hard to sift through the misinformation and disinformation. I’m not even sure if people are listening to experts anymore. Or if there is something we can do to win back the hearts and minds of well-meaning people who do want to save their communities. We’re in a world of hyper-focused individualism. Which makes that winning back effort very difficult.

I can’t deny that I’ve been in a state of self preservation. I have, at times, deduced that I will not compromise my mental or physical health for the sake of the masses. That I will not give in to my anxiety when trying to inform others on the importance of vaccinations, mask-wearing in densely-populated public spaces, hand-washing, health equity, how to actually “do your own research” (if there is such a thing). I admit that I have not been willing to compromise my mental well-being and the state of mind I’ve worked so hard for with the community in mind. But I’d be wrong to say my thinking is right.

I’ve learned recently that grappling with self preservation and the burden we all carry for each other and the preservation of our community isn’t as much of a grapple as we claim. How easy would it be to simply look out for each other? It actually takes a lot more effort to sequester yourself and isolate your gifts, talents, and intellect from the world. It takes a lot more to keep the world out and keep yourself hidden. Even when it’s all too much.

And it is just that - all too much. I’m tired but I will keep going. I will keep posting the information that people need, even if they don’t want it.

Thanks for sticking around to read this highly vulnerable yet cathartic post. If you want to stick around for more public health, health equity, and implementation science for the world we inhabit today, subscribe, like, and comment. I’ll be here. Keeping up with all that is too much.